is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
