she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
