im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
