Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
