Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
