the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize