just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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