Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize