No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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