so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
