Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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