i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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