I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize