3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
