i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
is wine microwaveable?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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