People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
