Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
operation harelip BJ is a go
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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