You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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