she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
