I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
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Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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