East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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