Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
