It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
