god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
