Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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