I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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