Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
