Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
