This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
