I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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