when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just had sex bonerless
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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