Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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