she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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