I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
