Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
