I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
