You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Is this like a preordered booty call?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize