I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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