i permit you to call me
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
