When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
its liver damage thursday
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
