Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
This is the high leading the old right now
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
