There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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