I hate your face
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
