dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
