this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
