I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
