it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
