dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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