Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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