Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
