you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
