the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
