If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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