just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
