no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
